I have been "working on my business" since 2017. Year after year, I have set goals and failed to meet them. I have created products, come up with ideas, brainstormed new ways to market and nothing has come of it. Instead of success of my business- I have been interrupted/sideblinded/setback. I have changed my mind a hundred times only to be brought divinely back to the start. Each time, a few steps forward, a new level of understanding, almost it, but not quite.
In 2018, I co-wrote a book to see it published, you know and then covid. I left the US anyway to travel the world and I had another baby. I survived and escaped domestic abuse and violence. I learned another language. I recovered from ptsd, suicidal depression and chronic illness. (Yes, I am very much flexing on that.)
These experiences have taught me that success looks different than what 'they'd' have us believe. There is no linear formula for achieving because it is a lived experience. There is no destination, no real end. The education system is a system designed to measure structure and function from our perceived capacity for labor NOT for our capacity to expand, create, thrive or feel joy. My life is a Failure- on paper, but I am wealthy in life.
I am now healthy and I did it myself, by myself with a small child as a single mother. That’s not victim identity Stawicki. That’s real shit. Thanks though for reiterating the same lame misogynistic shit dusted up in sparkle new age self love fluff. It was the impetus I needed to delete worthless advice and harmful people from my sphere.
We are DV free. My gorgeous, brilliant child is healthy and thriving. And…. I have a completed project. It isn’t what I thought it would be. It’s better. It has become the lighthouse I needed to navigate my sinking ship to shore. It’s also not a business because to call it that places it firmly in the grasp of patriarchal standards that I no longer adhere to. It’s a starting point for women to begin where they are with what they have so they can find their way on the path back to themselves. As I have- multiple times over.
I am nervous, delighted, nauseas and even a little surprised that NEXT MONTH I get to launch my first official offering!!! I will follow up with details of course:)
Thank you to everyone who has been supportive (in any way) along the way. You have been stewards, friends and angels. Most of you had no idea how much a small favor, a supportive comment, a phone call meant to me in those moments. This is my way of giving back; seeing it through so as to be in service and offer something of value to others.
Namaste from the tippy top to the bottom of my whole heart!